When others “totally understand” your kid’s autism…


I had prepared this comic for a while, but hesitated to post it. I think I try not to be too confrontational with real life people… Not only about autism, about anything. I kinda had my share of conflicts in life and know some are just not worth the effort. Like this one? See, my answer to her was “It’s ok. I understand“, something like that. But in reality, I was incredibly hurt. It wasn’t the first car we were passengers in. When the driver actually sets some rules from the start, it usually works. But mum and her kids were completely mute and not exactly welcoming to Nemo. It was a short ride but it WAS uncomfortable. She knew about his autism for long, also worked in education. She “totally” understood ?

2 thoughts on “When others “totally understand” your kid’s autism…

  1. Benison O'Reilly (@BenisonAnne)

    I wish people would not say they understand when clearly they don’t. I am not sure I “totally understand” autism and I live with it every day. I wish I could get inside my son’s head sometimes to gain a better insight into his version of ASD, although of course I’ve read books written by others on the spectrum.

    In many ways kids with HFA, like your son, cop it worst as they (superficially) appear so close to ‘normal’ – allowances aren’t made.

    ‘Mindy” could have used this as an opportunity to teach her children tolerance. Big parenting fail..


    1. suburp Post author

      Exactly. She could have spoken up in the car (others did, it actually worked), she didn’t. But indeed, she could have talked to her kids too. I was disappointed on so many levels. I did manage to borrow a car eventually (but had to pay for a car ferry) but if I didn’t, my alternative would have been to walk about 45 min or get onto a hellish school bus that takes that long too.
      For her and her kids, 5 min of discomfort was obviously already too much…
      Also, very right what you say about none of us ‘totally understanding’ autism ourselves. But it makes it feel even more overwhelming when you think that something rather obvious (diff car, more people = change of routines) already creates so much impatience and judgement by others 😦



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