Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes!

statlerwaldorf2

Oh, I know! Routines are good and reassuring. And I admit:  I am myself not always keen on surprises, schedule changes or new procedures…but things can also change for the better, right? And teaching ‘readiness for change’ is one of my big priorities with Nemo. Sometimes, the things that upset him seem so absurd? I mean he will still get his food in the ole’brown paper bag… All the internet orders do, is take the hassle out of the payment. And what’s with the weird luddite attitude from a boy who essentially wants to spend the whole day in front of some sort of screen?! So yeah, sometimes, he sounds like a grumpy old man.. or two.

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8 thoughts on “Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes!

  1. Aspermama

    Had to smile at the Statler and Waldorf reference, because my husband and I often joke that we sound just like them. I admit to having the same outraged reaction as your son every time they come out with a new version of Windows, and I’m a total luddite when it comes to certain things (I still don’t have a smartphone, I didn’t switch to MP3s until a few years ago, and you can pry my books out of my cold, dead hands). But I totally agree with you on the importance of helping him deal with changes. It makes life so much easier.

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  2. autisticook

    He’s upset because it means he’ll have to spend energy learning a new routine, in a world where he already has to spend a lot more energy than others on simply getting by. That’s a valid reason to be upset, even if the actual thing isn’t a big change to you.

    Maybe you can sit down with him and look at logical reasons why this change might be costing a bit more energy to implement, but will save him (and you) energy in the long run. And ask him to come up with a pro / con list for the old scheme versus the new scheme. That will give him a sense that his complaint is taken seriously, and that he has some control over his environment.

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    1. autisticook

      (That, or he might be using the money for something else which he’s afraid to tell you about, like… in the most sinister case… handing it over to his bullies because they threaten to beat him up if he doesn’t. I don’t want to scare you, but things like that happen. Too often).

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      1. suburp Post author

        oh? hey, i might have to explain how ‘tuck shop’ works in our school: in the morning (and i bring him in class) a brown bag with the order & money goes in a basket that is then brought to the tuck shop ladies who prepare the food (warm and cold) for the lunch breaks (1 little, 1 big). you can give money to your kid for ‘over the counter items’ or if you give more, they stick the change on the lunch bag. i usually gave the exact amount. we have experimented with change, so he can pick up an iceblock after lunch, but he would forget and toss it in the garbage with the bag (…).
        i see very well the scenario of ‘lunch money bullies’ is sort of possible in the higher classes, but it’s not what is happening. for him there is really zero difference for as he wasn’t even physically handling the brown bag with money at any other point before it is filled with food (and that will still be the case). BUT i take his concerns (even when they sometimes sound like ‘old man rant’ against modern times for some reason) always seriously, and explained him how easy and safe it is and – BONUS! – he will get a barcode w photo+name key ring thingee (so can’t be used by anyone else either) that can be charged with cash for iceblocks and the like. IF he thinks of it. because lately, lunch&breaks have become more busy in a positive way (=social!!) for him and eating even the packed lunch is a bit secondary at times…(but they have a two phase break and the teachers call them out on not eating, at least a little bit)
        well, we will see how it goes. i know it may look like i am mocking him.. ok, a little!? but there is seriously ‘upset’ and the more ‘outraged by principle’ which has no tears and anxiety. and the lunch changes were really a bit more of the latter.. =D (and fortunately so. if there was a bully/money problem – trust me, i would take some serious action on the spot)

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        1. autisticook

          I’m glad to hear that that’s the case! I hope you don’t think I was suggesting that you aren’t paying attention, I just do this thing where I try and analyse all different possible scenarios. It’s what makes me good at my job (IT troubleshooting) but not so good at personal stuff. *blushes*

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          1. suburp Post author

            no, it’s ok. i am quite aware this lunch business is handled differently everywhere and lunch money thugs are a world wide phenomena i guess…
            our school is terraced of sorts and every grade has their own play area which i found weird at first but it also has a good diminishing effect on cross-age bullying i believe.
            still my son got actually teased and triggered a little bit this year (if you remember my very first posts..) and i am quite attentive to that. very glad too, that at the end of the year (hear before christmas) he had finally better integrated with his class mates.. (and then they separate them all for the new year for some reason here..). i actually postponed the ch-ch-changes with the tuckshop for the new year a bit for myself and for him to mark the point, too (and because the system still had bugs..) so i am hoping we are good to go now =) And you know, I ALWAYS appreciate your input!! x

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    1. suburp Post author

      I really try! I wish I was more organised too, but then again, some changes – like the tuck shop order – seem so harmless and then I am just confused about him getting all outraged about it…

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