Breathe deeply and count to 10…?

_coping1

To say that Nemo has had a bit of a rocky start into the new school year, is probably putting it mildly. . Today, I had a meeting with his brand new ‘case manager’. I am hoping for a fresh start, he likes her… I also think that I made it quite clear she has to jump in on it and get him out of the spiral of stress situations and disciplinary measures in the school. I am not totally contesting them (there was swearing, running off and kicking things.. and people) But just telling him to count to ten and breath when things are getting too much…just not good enough!

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4 thoughts on “Breathe deeply and count to 10…?

  1. Pingback: Lørdagslinks | Autismetanken

  2. ischemgeek

    Have you seen Karla’s ASD Page on Facebook? She’s a manager at Intel who’s also autistic, and has worked up a bunch of resources for IEP stuff (or equivalent depending on country) that she’s noticed works well for autistic kids she mentors. One thing (and the only thing that I’ve ever found helpful when I’m in meltdown/rage mode) she advocates is giving the kid a “stop signal” that signals all input is to stop immediately along with a safe, sensory-friendly place to retreat to.

    For me, I’m not capable of calming down when the situation is still ongoing. I have to leave the situation before I even try to be calm. And I’ve always been like that. “You need to calm down now” or “stop and count to ten” and stuff like that is always useless to me. I can’t focus any energy on “calm down” when all my energy is focused on “don’t hurt someone” or “don’t melt down” or something of the sort. What I’ve found helpful is learning to recognize when I’m getting too upset and need to retreat. I’ve never learned how to become less upset during an upsetting situation. Emotional regulation is not and has never been my strong suit. I seem to be mostly incapable of improving my emotional regulation, so I work around it by learning to recognize when my emotional dysregulation is reaching critical mass and removing myself from stimulus so I can calm down in a calming environment.

    If Nemo is like me and has emotions that are too big/intense/what have you to focus through, he might find that useful. Counting to ten and breathing? Not so much.

    (funny story: when someone told me to calm down and count to ten, I’d scream, “OnetwothreefourFIVESIXSEVENEIGHT NINE TEN!” at them. I often got notes of “does not seem to understand calming techniques.” and cue more drills. I understood them fine. I just found them useless. :P)

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