“Presume competence”… but not for autism specialists, professionals, teachers

Autism and Halloween

Look. It’s simple: I like the spooky, the party and the candy. Nemo doesn’t.
Halloween is taking off big time in Australia, and while I am getting a little dizzy in the shops with all.that.stuff on offer, I am really fine with people having a good time, dressing up and being scary.
I have grown up with a similar tradition in Europe, we had a lot of fun as kids, too.
Yes, we tried. Twice. It wasn’t traumatic, but it was just not for him. And while he loved it as a toddler, now Nemo just doesn’t like the idea of ‘dressing up as someone else’ anymore. And he is not a big fan of zombies (and are zombies not everywhere nowadays? seriously..)
So yes, we will be the dark house on the street.
And I am fine with that, too. That’s all. Just keep that in mind. Some people won’t be doing Halloween and won’t be stocking tons of candy for your kids either, for all kinds of reasons.
And it shouldn’t be a big deal.

The Broccoli Autism Cure!

Here is a link to a more serious comment on the study at Forbes.
To be completely clear, a HEALTHY DIET has certainly positive effects on ANYBODY and broccoli is definitively is part of that. So eat your veggies!
And for full disclosure, thankfully, Nemo is not on the extreme end of the spectrum when it comes to restrictive eating, just VERY picky, so we are doing ok. He will eat the occasional ‘little tree’ (that’s what we called broccoli when he was younger).

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Technically, it is already the 3rd April here in Australia, but here is my contribution to the blue light discussion. I thought the message by the UN goes in the right direction.
Shining blue lights on public monuments or buildings can be a very costly ‘event’ and if not accompanied by actual actions that benefit the autistic population (and not in the form of more funds for the ‘research for a cure’ but actual concrete help and support), it is a vain and empty feel-good operation that really changes nothing.
All on the awareness bus already. Moving on!

http://www.un.org/en/events/autismday/

take a stance

 

We saw a lot of kids and grown-ups dressed in orange today in our school, and I should not be a cynic who thinks wearing a t-shirt in a certain colour changes really not so much (there are some other actions of course..). So I won’t think that..(although a quasi-free dress day without the obligatory donation would help in an otherwise uniformed school, too..) I just think it’s a bit vague and does not go very deep. Who would be FOR bullies anyway?
There has been no ‘autism awareness day’ (acceptance/month, whatever) in the school so far, and I have been explicitly told talking about autism might lead to bullying (..?) which basically only made me start this blog in September last year.
So April is coming around and so far I don’t know what is planned, I don’t know what to think again, is it really just about donning a bit of blue and say “Autism!” for one day? What is your take on ‘awareness days’ vs actual action, information, education?
Are you doing something in April ?

(Fun fact: our school uniform is already blue!)

Preparation

We are having an “adventure day” tomorrow. Well, actually, we are just going into the city. Lately, we have made good progress on the acceptable drink when out, but it’s still true that I think carefully about what I put in my bag, where we are going (and where we can make breaks) when we go for a longer outing. It’s important to have adventures though. See new things, get in new situations. Learn to prepare, to say when it’s too much and also to cope when we cannot immediately change it.  Or when Mum took the wrong kind of drink.
(“red juice” is apple-blackcurrant. still his favourite.)

nb: I made a new FAQ page and changed the header.. – check it out? 😉 

the trouble with swearing…

Our year continues with more trouble in school. Nemo still has daily support (the new aide is kind and calm) and they have now been willing to trial a few preventive solutions I have put to them (quiet lunches, respite days),  but his current reflex to swear and get angry (at least that’s what it looks like) in situations of stress, is taking a bit of a toll on the ‘support team’. On me too, to be quite honest, but since things are rather chill at home in terms of expectations and environment, I simply do not have the Rumpelstielzchen experience on a daily basis, and there is only so much I can do when he is in school. Needless to say, that we do NOT swear like sailors at home, we do not condone it at all and I understand the school has to draw a line…But I still believe that the use of swearwords in moments of distress does not prove he is making the conscious choice to be ‘naughty’ or whatever?! Will be really thankful for any input…

Breathe deeply and count to 10…?

To say that Nemo has had a bit of a rocky start into the new school year, is probably putting it mildly. . Today, I had a meeting with his brand new ‘case manager’. I am hoping for a fresh start, he likes her… I also think that I made it quite clear she has to jump in on it and get him out of the spiral of stress situations and disciplinary measures in the school. I am not totally contesting them (there was swearing, running off and kicking things.. and people) But just telling him to count to ten and breath when things are getting too much…just not good enough!

meeting at the school today…

Yeah, not so sure about this day.. The meeting was incredibly awkward, I felt that the suspension was as much meant as a “wake-up call” for me as for Nemo. Which might be necessary for some parents, but I am kinda ‘all over it’ already, at least as much as I personally can be (because, you know : life). In brief, I felt judged and the whole ‘formalisation’ (reports, letters, behaviour contract) made me feel like it has more effect on administrative, and possible legal, follow-up (in case of what ?) than actually being efficient steps towards handling the situation (ie managing anxiety and anger).
Having had some really sad news the night before (re: life..), I really couldn’t say much at all.
But I told Nemo that I loved him, no matter what.

i’ll have to get back to this blog..

Ah.. it’s really not only parenting (although we are at the moment dealing with another suspension from school…). I haven’t been overly well lately (in.my.head. mostly) and although I have some comix prepared, didn’t really feel like posting. Or like anything, really, once I was done getting through the day. I have to remind myself how much I enjoy making the comics though, and also the feedback I get from you guys.